Ups & downs, turn it all around

While preparing for this adventure I was told many times to go in without expectations because I will save myself the disappointment when things don´t go as planned. True- It is impossible to predict how are lives will turn out and it is just as difficult to predict how a three month stint abroad will go, but having NO expectations- HELLO how is that possible? After putting so much effort and planning into my time in Nicaragua, having no expectations is unrealistic, CRAZY even .. though now that many expectations, even though I thought they were very much attainable and realistic are kind of laying scattered like a flat tire on the side of the road, disappointment is slowly creeping up on me, and he is neither cute or charismatic- he´s kind of a downer and I'm trying to kick him to the curb.

This last week I have spent trying to get comfortable at Los Pipitos, though as of now it´s been a fail. Though it is difficult with my broken Spanish and constant use of a dictionary I feel like it is acting like more of a hindrance than it should. It could be my lack of initative, or the organizations but it has been holding me back communicating with the organizers as well as the children. What is frustrating is that Los Pipitos is this brightly colored, well shaded FULL OF POSSIBILITIES facility for children to come and express themselves through different kinds of art- though for much of the time they are seated focusing on nothing, and so am I.

I am having a hard time adjusting to the slowness of the culture. In Canada I am used to being on the constant marathon of a fairly busy life shouting GO GO GO!! While here naps are not mandatory, though highly suggested, the city closes down from 12-2 and everyone walks like it´s Sunday- it´s culture right? I am not naive in the sense that I wanted to come here and change the world, do great things and solve world peace.. although if it were possible i would sign up. I just want to do something good, really get to know these children and know that my efforts are pro active rather than a bench warmer when so many good things could come from these children as well as the organization. This week my plans are to contact the people in charge and ask for some more responsibilities, I don´t want wear the paint off of a stool because I sit on it all day, I want to work, I came here to work. I hope that this will result is something proactive and give me a little piece of mind.

On an unrelated yet positive note, I am finally done with my Nicaraguan dentist. He was a nice and funny character although I thought it was a smidge odd how his mother and aunt would remind me of how attractive he was all time, perhaps they saw my visits, as some weird north American courtship.. i just wanted my tooth fixed. After 4 visits, mucho drugs, and minus one tooth I am finally feeling much better. The stitches are out and the pain is gone- thank goodness!

Life is as interesting, and challenging as ever.

Peace